What will you start, stop, continue? Right here, right now – not January first?

New Year resolutions irritate me.

I said it. I wrote it.

I briefly hesitated. Shall I replace ‘irritate’ by something less strong?

It’s rather rigid and judgmental of me to get irritated about something like New Year resolutions, especially if they're not even mine. 

But I do, because they totally don’t make sense to me. One of procrastination’s biggest allies is a resolution for the future. Why wait one more month, week, day, or even an hour?  If you know where to go, how to go, how to be, what to do, what to stop, and what to start, why do you have to wait for a certain symbolic date?

You don’t. It’s just another excuse to let you off the hook for right now. I did this so many times with smoking. I was going to quit at the beginning of summer. I would quit on January 1^st. I was most definitely going to quit after that party… Until, on a very regular, normal day, right after and before another fun event, I stopped. Yes, with the help of a loving friend, and no, not postponing it even one more hour.

How to do this? Simple (maybe not easy): Be true to yourself. Be honest. Be realistic. And be determined.

Better 1 action put to real practice than 10 ideas that remain floating between that desirable future accomplishment and here-and-now implementation.

This is about you. What will you start, stop, and continue to do as of NOW?

Tough conversations

As leadership expert Geoff Aigner found in his own research, the biggest road block managers and leaders (but anyone alive, really) must overcome is their reluctance to engage in tough conversations, usually for fear of being unkind. There is a common mistake at work here: confusing compassion with kindness. Leaders who truly care about the development and growth of their employees are able to push through the awkwardness, and tell it straight. Just like parents who really care about their children, adult children who care about their aging parents, friends who care about their friends… the list goes on, beyond the workplace.

Tough conversations can be and usually are the most valuable conversations we have. If you throw caring, courage, and candor in the mix, you will be able to provide people with information and perspectives that others might have too, but are unwilling to share. Tough conversations help us decrease our blind spots. Tough conversations force us to move away from self-distortion and ego-saving defense mechanisms. Tough conversations, if held well, decrease the need for cover-up practices. Tough conversations are tough in the here-and-now and become some of the strongest bonds between people.

What are you afraid of? What is holding you back? What skills do you need to strengthen in order to start tough conversations? Why not start now? Mistakes are okay. These types of mistakes aren’t fatal, you know.