Easy, Quick Exercises to Increase Awareness & Focus

Buddhist monks and the like excluded, we all have difficulty being fully aware and present in the moment. Many of us suck at focusing on what’s going on here and now whenever it requires us  longer than 60 seconds. 

We have a hard time fully staying with all our focus and attention with the conversation at hand, because we are distracted by worries and excitements about past or future events and by in-the-moment distractions through our smart devices, bodily sensations, or any of our numerous thoughts. If you wish to change this, practice these six easy and quick exercises. It will improve your awareness, strengthen your focus, and help keep your attention fixed in the present moment. 

1. One minute check-in

Sit or stand somewhere comfortably and focus your attention completely on the physical sensation of your body, whether it is the feeling of your buttocks on a soft surface or your feet standing on the floor. Focus on nothing else than your buttocks or feet. Focus your attention on their warmth, the pressure exerted, or the tension in your muscles. Notice how this body part feels. Don’t judge or explain it, just notice.

2. 45 Seconds of conscious observation

Choose an object in your proximity such as a cup, pen, bag etc. yet not your phone. Set a timer for 45 seconds (here your phone is useful) and hold the object in your hands, turn it around as you please. Take in the object with all your senses for 45 seconds. Fully absorb the object. Look at colors, shape, and size and feel the material. Make sure not to study your object intellectually – just observe it for what it is to experience a heightened 'being in the now’.  

3. Count down

Close your eyes and focus your complete attention on slowly counting down from ten. If your concentration wanders off, you simply start back at number 10 without judging or condemning the fact that you're starting all over. Most people have to re-start multiple times, that’s okay. It may go like this: “Ten, nine - When's the deadline for my proposal? Whoops, I’m thinking, not counting. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six … “ Who is Tim talking to on the phone, he seems upset? Oh dear, I’m not focused on my counting. Lets start again! …

4. One sense only

When you're brushing your teeth in the morning or eating lunch at work, decide to focus on one sense and one sense only. For example: focus on just the smell of the toothpaste for the duration of the brushing. Or focus on the texture of the food, just the texture and nothing else. Notice how it feels in your mouth and on your teeth.

5. Focus through repetition

Choose an inspiring phrase and repeat it silently in your mind for 90 seconds. When you notice another word or sentence entering your mind, start again and repeat until you reach 90 seconds of uninterrupted repetition of your phrase. A few examples:

- I appreciate the things I'm inclined to take for granted.

- I will do others a favor by delaying judgment.

- I'll muster the courage to unmask those reassuring lies we love to tell ourselves.

6. Unexpected guest

When someone comes to your desk or into your office unexpectedly:

- Stop what you are doing, turn your body to face the person, make eye contact, and focus completely on the person.

- Instead of labeling it as an interruption, see what happens if you smile, welcome, breathe, and listen.

- Whether you decide to meet with the person right there and then or not, make sure to leave the interaction with a genuine feeling of focused contact.

As you practice these six exercises daily, don’t judge or condemn diversions and distractions. Whatever grabs your attention, whether it comes from outside (people laughing, a car engine, or the coffee machine) or whether it comes from within (rumbling stomach, fatigue, or thoughts about the 3pm meeting), I ask you to accept the distraction as a fact right here and now, and then push it aside gently for a later time to pay attention to. Nonjudgmentally release any thoughts of the past or the future. Slow down, re-focus completely on your exercise, and remember: Constant practice is the key to success.

Successful Coaching? Awareness, Urgency, Willingness!

During a conversation with a new client, I addressed the importance of three ingredients to be present before embarking on a coaching endeavor. My client was all ears and appreciated this insight into what increases the chances of success for a coaching project. Too many managers and other buyers of coaching and training services take too little time to consider these three ingredients, and sadly, some of them don’t take accountability for their own role in establishing those three foundations. So what are they?

1. Awareness

There needs to be sufficient awareness of areas that need improvement. Everyone knows this, right! However, I have conducted too many assessment sessions with coaching clients where the person was only minimally aware of what their boss or HR professional had told me they needed to improve. Now, regardless of who is right (if any one person ever is) something has gone wrong in the communication and feedback, and the coaching is off to a delayed or weak start, leaving me to work on the feedback-culture, candor, and accountability within the team or company. Thanks to the founders of gestalt psychology and, later, to Daniel Goleman, the concepts of self-awareness and self-management have gained the attention that is required for people and teams to be collaborative and adaptable. 

2. Urgency

Awareness alone doesn’t necessarily lead to a person’s motivation to learn and change her/his way of thinking and acting. For that leap to happen, the person needs to feel a sense of urgency. I am not talking about the boss’s sense of urgency but urgency within the person who is receiving the coaching. People are set in their ways, habits are strong and stubborn (read “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg), our brains tend to be lazy and focused on short cuts and preservation, and self-denial is an attractive alternative to facing unpleasant truths, being out of your comfort zone, and having to do the hard stuff. Conclusion: Urgency because of what’s at stake and urgency born out of the (projected) loss and pain if you do nothing, is a crucial part of what motivates you to truly invest in learning and showing yourself vulnerable.

3. Willingness

Even with awareness and urgency in place, I have encountered enough people in my practice who did not show a willingness (or not initially) to work on whatever they were aware was lacking, even if they new something had to happen now. Rather than look inward and decide to learn and grow, they choose to blame others or circumstances, take the victim role, and complain when things turn sour. I am happy to say that most people I have encountered in my 28 years in the field of learning and development and change consultation only needed candor and directness from someone who professionally cared and who was capable of explaining dynamics. This was usually enough to add the remaining ingredient of willingness into the stew of cognitive and behavior change.

So, please remember, if you wish someone (or yourself) to be ready for significant growth and sustainable change, you need buy in and ownership, and for that, awareness, urgency, and willingness are crucial ingredients. If you manage people, your leadership, communication, and caring candor play a lead role in this scenario.

Noticing

Noticing.

A skill. A gift. A necessity.

Without it, you dis-engage, you dis-connect.

Without it, you easily disagree, disappoint.

A vast amount of business is conducted (and ruined) in the absence of really noticing. Too many interactions in the workplace (and elsewhere) are starved of full attention, of genuine interest, and of open-minded and focused curiosity.

What it takes to really notice?

Your willingness to work hard on staying in the here-and-now, with awareness of yourself, of the other person, and of what happens in the interaction.

Your skillfulness to pay attention to details and the mundane as well as to the special and the big.

Your keenness to open yourself up so you can sense, wonder, and listen without having to worry about image, heroism, selling, scoring.

Your readiness to welcome candor and directness.

Your eagerness to set aside the many distractions that viciously fight for your attention.

Your adeptness to deal with the unexpected and with what might be uncomfortable.

Noticing: A mindset. A process. A joy. An absolute necessity!

Spotlight on the Foundation of Emotional Intelligence

Picture this: You are enjoying a summer walk in the woods at dusk – the mosquitos are everywhere. Before arriving home you are fully aware of all the bites and the annoying itching. Or think back of your childhood to one of the probably many times you fell and hurt yourself. I am sure it came naturally to notice those sensations. It’s not exactly like you have to make an effort to notice how bad your skin is itching.

I just wished it were the same later in life, with other sensations and feelings, and especially in the workplace. I wished the feelings of beginning nervousness in a conversation, of unease when reading a document, or of doubt about a decision would be as poignant as the result of that mosquito bite or as the stinging sensation when you fall on your bare knees. But it isn't. We haven't really learned to pay close attention to our sensations. We've been taught, at least in Western culture, to focus and not be distracted. Luckily it has become somewhat more common this past decade to focus on intuition, to address inner processes and how they might alert you to some aspect you might otherwise neglect or that might go completely unnoticed. But even then, if we do notice our sensations and feelings, many of us do not know how to effectively address these feelings nor the underlying or resulting processes.

So your question to yourself can be: Am I present and aware, in the moment – in this moment? Am I using all my senses?

Or

Am I distracted, am I chasing the many thoughts that enter my consciousness at any given time? Am I ignoring things rather than noticing them?

The following should be absolutely clear. It's not about condemning the distraction, your sensations, or your thoughts. It’s about noticing them, knowing how they impact you, and it’s about bringing yourself back to the here-and-now, wherever that is and whatever you’re doing. 

If you search my blog for 'awareness' you'll find more articles on the topic - what it is, how it works, and how to increase your awareness.

In brief: take time to stop, notice, sense, and feel. Adjust your attitude, approach, and behavior accordingly. Or don’t adjust them, and just know how external distractions such as events in your environment and how internal distractions (often related to external events) such as worries, fear, and tiredness influence you.

Weekends are generally a good time to practice and enjoy your awareness, but aim to use it on the job, in meetings, when feeling tight, during presentations, while working on a report... You get the picture.

Just do it!

Just a reminder

With all the talk about leadership on this blog and so many other media, just a few simple reminders about leadership, whether you’re in an official leadership position or not.

à Leadership is about being around, being visible, literally as well as in respect to what you stand for.

à The next step is being available, not just around. Being fully present, with all your attention.

à This implies real listening and true questions so that people elaborate, share, and converse with you.

à For such a conversation to be effective requires you to be aware of your own state of being right there and then, of the connection of that moment, of emotions and the dynamics in the here-and-now.

à Leadership, among many other things, is being available and walking the talk. And if you’re not, it includes honesty about your distractions, blind spots, and distortions.

à Leadership starts and ends with true connections, the first and founding connection being the one with yourself.

I agree with Tom Peters: “The best leaders don’t create followers - they create more leaders.” Of course, followers might make you feel better, but in most situations they don’t help you, your team, nor your organization perform much better.