Trust building, collaborative phrases for your conversations

We all have those conversations and collaborations that seem challenging because intentions are misunderstood, parties rush to judgment, styles are clashing, or objectives are misaligned. Other relationships are strong and secure yet you may still experience an unexpected twist in the conversation, one you didn't see coming. And there are situations in which trust and credibility are harmed and you have to move forward together. For any of these scenarios, whether in a group setting or a personal meeting, the following sentences, from Covey's Trust Action Cards, I find very helpful. Give them a well-intentioned try and add your own examples - there are many more.

You see things differently from me. I want to learn more about your perspective.

  

When you do this, the impact on me (the team, the client) is …

Let me make sure I understand what you are trying to say.  

What are you not saying that needs to be voiced?

I respect you and I want to be candid with you.

What is it you'd like to see me do differently?

I’d like to share what I have observed.

This is what I feel strongly about ...

What is the ‘undiscussable’ here?

  

Where and how can I get better?

I need to listen before I respond.

I want to acknowledge you for …

How can I make this right?

From my perspective …

We need your opinion.

I was wrong about …

I apologize for …

My intent is…

Something to develop in yourself and in others

1.Questioning

Assuming that you know when the time is right, it is very useful and powerful to share and not hold back your questions. Questions about the way business is done, questions when you have doubts about what your are asked to do, questions regarding habits and routines. This may be challenging on both sides of the questioning, however, the possible new ideas and perspectives, can generate discussions and thought processes on a deeper level and from a different perspective.

2.Forward thinking

With the questioning comes the suggestions and the problem-solving, even when others don’t see a problem that needs solving. You can make it a habit to construct and suggest new methods of approaching challenges and ways of improving processes as well as opportunities that others can’t even imagine yet.

3.Offering help to others and being the one others go to

More than ‘just’ being a team player, people who gladly and abundantly help others become more successful. They add tremendous value to the organization and to their own development. Make sure you are known as the person to be asked for help even if you’re not an expert in what they are struggling with. Sometimes active listening, sharp questioning, and directing the person in the right direction will do the job. You can be the one others on the team go to for guidance and advice. This way you’ll be noticed in the most acceptable way possible. Of course you want to make it a conscious and consistent effort to notice and acknowledge other people’s contributions.  

Three simple things to develop in yourself and in others – which one is first on your list?