No-one
ever had ‘criticism’ listed as their cause of death. No-one is immune to the
human tendency to avoid negativity. No-one can deny having ever dreaded and feared
that which makes them feel uncomfortable. When criticism
comes your way, when your ideas are questioned, you can start with the
following three steps:
a. De-personalize the criticism and detach yourself emotionally
When stakes and visibility are high and when you’re
passionate about a proposal, approach or project, it is highly likely that you
act human – that is with an almost instinctive, defensive gut reaction. This is
generally not productive. To take in criticism without allowing it to overwhelm
and crush you, don’t turn to the person handing out the criticism but turn to
yourself. Turn to your own assumptions, interpretations and judgments about
criticism and stop speculating about the motives behind the criticism. De-personalize
the feedback by looking at it as an outsider would. Rather than seeing it as a
personal attack, see it as a piece of
information that can enrich your thinking and improve your performance.
b. Distinguish between productive and unproductive feedback
Some feedback is simply not worth your time. The criticism
might be too detailed, lack relevance, it might be untimely, or based on
incorrect information. In these cases, don’t waste your time and energy
rebutting or fighting the criticism or getting all worked up about it. However!
I wish to interject a big “However”: Be truthful and accountable for how you
judge the relevance of criticism and avoid hiding behind excuses. Is the
criticism really too detailed, untimely, off-focus or is that merely your way
of ducking for unpleasant perspectives, feelings and possible consequences?
c. Consult with people you trust
Criticism that is meant to be productive and that appears
to be genuine deserves your attention. Be sure to be curious, to ask clarifying
questions, and to invite candor and directness. Research and evaluate the
criticism as if it were a business problem. Discuss the criticism with trusted people
within or outside your department or organization. If you really wish to be a
life-long learner I suggest you make it a habit to consult with people who don’t
look, think and act like you do. Seek out people who dare to disagree with you,
who care enough to be clear and direct, and who truly add a different
perspective.
The bottom line
If you
conclude that the criticism has merit, use it as a trigger to help you adapt
and grow as a person and within your role. Criticism is a perspective,
criticism is information. Information that can help you uncover blind spots.
Criticism is information that can help close the gap between your intentions
and the effects you create. Criticism is information that can fill in the gaps between
how you think you are being perceived
and how you are really perceived. The
better you know yourself and the effects you have on others and on the business,
the more you will learn, grow and add value.
Toss
out toxic criticism, fire your fear for critique, and get going with the ever-lasting
game of growing.
