The Human Side of Change

A new payroll system, merging two sales organizations, centralizing training and development, entering a new market, adding virtual teams, outsourcing data entry, introducing highly computerized production machines and robots to your plants – just a few of the numerous examples of changes taking place in organizations.

There is so much to say about change, change management, and change failure. The most important thing to be highlighted I believe is the human side of change: How people perceive change, how they respond to change, how and why they work with (or against) change.

In times of change, your assumptions, needs, fears, and thinking patterns influence what you see and how you see it, that is: how you interpret what you see. Rarely do change makers and change consultants really inquire how people perceive the present situation, how they see the future, and what they think of the upcoming changes. And if they do, they are not adept at providing the right support through the transitions that are part of the change process.

We all know that change is inevitable and a lot of the change that we deal with is for the better. Even then, change is generally disruptive and intrusive. Change disturbs the balance, the known, the familiar. Change threatens past success formulas and discredits past success and it threatens feelings of security and control. We often handle change-related ambiguity and insecurity poorly, even though there are substantial individual differences in how people respond to change. You’ll see excitement, fear, protection, worry, resentment, skepticism, support and of course a combination of feelings.

As William Bridges highlights in Managing Transitions (2003), it is usually not the change we have difficulty with, but the transition. Bridges explains that transition is psychological. It’s a 3-phase process where people gradually accept the details of the new situation and the changes that come with it:

Phase 1: People have to part with their old ways of doing things and often with their former identity. Letting go and dealing with loss are topics in this phase.

Phase 2: People have to go through a period where ‘the old’ is gone yet ‘the new’ is not completely operational yet – the neutral zone. This zone requires, sometimes drastic, practical, and especially psychological adjustments.

Phase 3: People have to close, let go of the transition period, and make a new beginning. They are tasked with developing a new identity and discover meaning in the new situation. Or not, and then they are best off to move on.

As much as every change involves transitions, every transition starts with an end and ends with a new beginning. All types of change succeed or fail to the extent that the people involved really start doing things differently, which requires thinking differently. People have to part with ways of thinking and they have to part with old ways of doing things that worked before and that provided meaning, results and success. They have to start and try out new and unknown ways of thinking and working. Successfully letting go of the old and starting something new is a central theme in dealing with transitions. Some of Bridges's numerous tips are:

-  Sell the problem, not the solution.
- Identify, understand and acknowledge who will lose what.
- Talk about the transition and let people know their feelings are human and okay.
-  Ask: what behaviors are being rewarded now that will change/need to change.
-  When marking the ending of the old, don't ridicule the past. It disqualifies all that people have done before. Therefore, position the past as a positive legacy that paved the way for the new.
- Let people take something with them from the old to the new situation, just like we do with children when they move to a different house or country, in which case we call it ‘transition objects’.

It’s the human side of change that makes or breaks any change initiative. To champion and implement changes effectively I suggest you focus on this human aspect of change. Two books I find very useful are Managing Transitions by William Bridges and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

Candor

Candor

Is not a goal in itself

Candor has meaning and purpose

Written all over it

Candor

Is not just a tool or technique

It’s a way of life, if you want it to be

With ‘genuine’ in the lead role

Practiced with purpose, care, and skill

Candor will

Deepen

Disclose

Enhance

Speed up

Shake up

Supplement

Facilitate

Enrich

That’s my belief

That’s my promise 

To my clients, to you

Coaching in 60 words

There are more theories, definitions, and books on coaching than we need. Here’s my 60-word perspective on coaching after close to three decades in this interesting field.

Observing sharply

Thinking systemically

Confronting self-deception

Discovering blind spots

Uncovering thinking distortions

Asking profound questions

Revealing and unraveling assumptions

Connecting the seemingly unconnected

Strengthening focus

Probing provocatively

Increasing candor

Clarifying options

Reinforcing awareness

Aligning values and actions

Stimulating discovery

Creating clarity

Shifting perspectives

Illuminating opportunities

Encouraging courage and risks

Decreasing victim behavior

Strengthening resilience

Holding accountable

Caring, trusting, confronting, supporting

Something to think about…

Two excerpts from Lao Tsu in the Tao Te Ching.

I hope they get you thinking and reflecting.

I hope they inspire you.

If the leader guides the people,

he must serve with humility.

If the leader leads them,

he must follow behind.

In this way, when the leader rules,

the people will not feel oppressed.

When he stands before them,

they will not be harmed.

The whole world will support him

and will not tire of him.

Because he does not compete,

he does not meet competition.

From the Tao Te Ching

In dwelling, be close to the land.

In meditation, go deep in the heart.

In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.

In speech, be true.

In ruling, be just.

In business, be competent.

In action, watch the timing.

From the Tao Te Ching

A Step-by-Step Framework for Candid Conversations

The why and whereto of candid conversations have been covered in some of my previous blog posts. Today I focus on the how-to:

1.    Tell the person you have something difficult to say.

2.    Optional: Warn the person that she/he might be upset with your message.

3.    Say it immediately. Say it straight. Say it brief. Say it clearly. (which means no beating around the bush, no sugar coating, no packaging between niceties.

4.    State it as your opinion or suggestions and not as ‘the’ truth since there is no one truth.

5.    Clarify that you care for the person, hence your candor and the risk that comes with this candor.

6.    Be prepared for a wide range of emotions and responses. Be prepared for push back.

7.    Realize that candor is a two-way street. Be ready to receive candor and straight talk and actively ask for it. Listen, ask clarifying questions, and consider and learn rather than interrupt and counter-argue.

When things go wrong

No matter how well you prepare and train, things can go wrong. Always. Here are tips to deal with such situations:

1. Be brave enough to be vulnerable and fallible

2. Know that very few mistakes are final and fatal – we’re talking communication and leadership here, not medicine and surgery.

3. Be present in the here-and-now. Use your awareness to sense when it turns bad and make it the topic of conversation.

4. Ask for feedback, suggestions, impressions. And listen.

5. Clarify again, your intentions and style.

6. Repeat your care and concern for the person, team or topic.

7. Apologize for the unintended impact but stick to the message if that is still what you believe.

Straight-Talk – From Stress and Struggle to Success

To my relief, candor, transparency, and straight talk increasingly show up in articles and discussions. It is much needed. As much as many workplace and other conversations benefit from subtlety and nuance, at least as many conversations are in great need of honest, sincere expression, of forthrightness, and of frankness in responding.

My business is called HardTalk and clients call me the Candor Coach. At the same time many think I’m on a crazy endeavor. Introducing more candor in communication and in leadership, regardless of the culture and the setting, is generally looked at as opening a can of worms. 

The reason? We are fueled by our fears! You are fueled by your fears and by your tendency to avoid risks. Think of your need for approval (your fear for disapproval), your need for praise (your fear for criticism and disapproval), or your need to be liked (your fear for rejection). For too many people, the desire – or obsession? – to prevent conflict is especially strong. Conflict is often perceived as bad and unpredictable.

To make things a little worse, in addition to being guided by your fears you are misguided by erroneous beliefs, and the two are obviously related. If you believe:

- That tensions and negative feelings should be avoided in conversations

- That showing respect is synonymous with withholding what might be painful, and

- That your need to be liked and accepted justifies indirectness and half truths… YOU ARE WRONG

You do everyone, including yourself, a great disservice by sugar-coating the message, by beating around the bush and by delaying or withholding your opinion. Your customers, your employees, your loved ones – every one loses. They might like the conversation or you better in that very moment, but how about trust, helping each other grow, and showing respect through honesty and straight talk?

Candor with yourself and others decreases blind spots and self-deception, improves communication and collaboration, and it increases trust and accountability. As simple as that. And remember, in a trusting and transparent relationship people can handle confrontations and the, sometimes brutal truth, even if they don’t like it.

Now what? How to start? First, start thinking past the roadblocks and

-       Amend your beliefs on kindness, assertiveness, candor, and conflict.

-       Know and learn to handle your needs and fears.

-       Practice having candid conversations. And practice. And practice.

My next post will cover a step-by-step framework on the ‘how-to’ of candid conversations.