Answer 8 questions before accepting a (new) leadership position

In "The Art of War for Women - Sun Tzu's ultimate guide to winning without confrontation" by Chin-Ning Chu, a case is made for the importance of mental strength. As I assume we can all agree, mental strength is vital to your success at any level in any industry and in any culture. "If you cannot handle the pain of setbacks, don't take on a leadership role in the battlefield of either business or life." is one of the numerous thought provokers from this book.

On page 147 and 148, Chin-Ning Chu presents 8 questions that should be answered affirmatively before accepting a (new) leadership position: 

1. Do I posses the ability to be decisive?

2. Do I have the guts to complete the necessary tasks?

3. Am I willing to take calculated risks?

4. Do I have the stomach to handle the unpredictable setbacks?

5. Do I possess an uncrushable strength?

6. If my plan fails, am I resilient enough to bounce back?

7. Do I have the ability to bear humiliation? 

8. Can I endure trying times?

Wishing you candid self-reflection!

The Psychology behind Organization Development Work

This post is inspired by two days at the University of Minnesota – College of Continuing and Professional Studies, packed with curious people who brought a rich diversity of work and life experiences to our Organization Development Course. Stephanie and I greatly enjoyed and appreciated working with you all!

When it comes to Organization Development (OD) work, there is so much to discuss. This post focuses solely on some of the psychology behind OD work. Lets start with things you don’t need in OD work (or any other work):

1.    You don’t need to own the client’s problem.

2.    You don’t always need to be the smartest in the room.

3.    You don’t always need to be right.

Equally important of course is what you do need in order to be effective in any kind of OD work, such as the ability to:

-       Observe astutely

-       Ask powerful questions

-       Reflect regularly and thoroughly

-       Listen just a little longer than you may want to

-       Understand the influence of self (strength, weaknesses, experiences)

-       Think and help think in alternatives and solicit and utilize multiple perspectives

These six ingredients form the foundation of any success in OD work yet they are only the beginning of course. There are a myriad of other OD competencies, to mention just a few: knowledge of the business / industry / organization, research methods, management / organization theory, teamwork / collaboration, dealing with ambiguity, organization behavior, resource management, and project management. Enough to work on I’d say. 

Returning to the psychology of OD work, I think there are six crucial C’s in any OD role in addition to understanding the system and the technicalities of your field:

✓ Curiosity

✓ Candor

✓ Courage

✓ Creativity

✓ Confidence

✓ Communication

You want to apply all of the above with the right intention, timing, strength and focus in order to be effective. Ask yourself, which one of these comes natural to me and which ones do not? Which C’s may I be overusing in challenging situations, since an over-used strength easily turns into a liability? And which ones may I be neglecting or even shying away from and for what reasons?

Much of OD work is people-work so we discussed tempting, human pitfalls. They are nothing to be embarrassed or afraid about, yet you want to recognize and handle these tendencies to move from awareness and acknowledgement to accountability and action – my 4 A’s of professional effectiveness. Example tendencies are:

-       Getting sucked into personal drama

-       Communicating by verbal ping pong

-       Focusing in who is wrong and who is right

-       Being oblivious to the box you are in

-       Complaining, blaming or wanting to fix others

-       Getting in your own/your client’s way by not managing your hot buttons

There's much more to say about the psychology of OD work yet I’ll leave you with some of the many helpful questions to ask yourself and to ask others:

What may I/they be missing?

What may I/they be misinterpreting?

What may I/they be repeating from some other context?

What may I/they be really needing right now or protecting?

What can be truly different lenses to look at this situation?

What may we confuse as a problem to be solved where it's a polarity to be managed? 

The Power of Your Beliefs and Thoughts - Talk at St. Catherine's University

This post is based on a talk at St. Catherine’s University at the Leadership Imperative Conference for women leaders. Honored, humbled, and enriched I left this day having enjoyed so much wisdom from and for women leaders! Cindy Kent, general manager of Infection Prevention Division at 3M provided a powerful and inspiring closing keynote, sharing her personal and professional journey with us. Thank you Cindy! Also a warm-felt ‘thank you’ to everyone who participated in my talk “The Power of Beliefs and Thoughts” and for your very appreciative feedback about the content and delivery of this talk. Some key points to emphasize:

- Learning requires curiosity, creativity, candor, and courage.
- We often do not realize how incomplete and subjective our perceptions are.

- You and only you are responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

- Identify your musts and ask whether they should be musts or rather preferences.

- You may not be fit to lead if your greatest strength is seeing weakness in you, in others, or both.

- We regularly deceive ourselves, driven by the need to protect our image and self-esteem.

- The biggest gift to ourselves and others is listening a little longer and postponing judgment.

- There is wisdom to be gained from asking positive, self-critical questions such as

o   What if I am (partially) wrong?

o   What may I be missing or misinterpreting?

o   Could I be clinging to untested assumptions?
o   Which opinions and perspectives am I not soliciting?

o   Which biases and hot buttons could be at work right now?

o   What assumptions and thoughts might lead to a better outcome?

o   What if I am focusing on the wrong thing or on too many things?

o   How much will 'this' still matter tomorrow, next week, next month?

I’d like to close with the thought that the best leaders allow themselves to be persuaded. I think of Alan Mulally, former FORD executive, who is said to be exceptionally skeptical of his own opinions, and I think of Christine Lagarde, head of the International Monetary Fund, who is known to seek out information that disproves her beliefs about the world and herself. How smart, right?!

Simplifying Leadership

If you don’t know what you stand for,

please don’t expect others to follow you.

If you don’t believe in it,

please don’t expect your people to put their heart and soul into it.

If you don’t own your mistakes and misjudgments and act accountable,

please expect others to blame, cover-up, justify, and deny.

If you don’t break down truth-telling barriers,

please expect sugar-coating, beating around the bush, and dishonesty.

If you don’t demonstrate courage in tough moments,

please expect cowardice to reign.

If you are not comfortable with vulnerability,

please expect others to avoid emotions, not-knowing, and unpleasantries. 

If you don’t have the humility to be quiet, follow, and let others shine

please expect arrogance, self-importance, and pretentiousness.

If you are not reflective, self-aware, and self-critical,

please don’t expect others to happily show these qualities.

If you don’t walk your talk,

please do expect others to follow your example.

Leadership simplified: 
self-awareness, conviction, accountability, courage, vulnerability, confidence, humility.

Positive Psychology Practices

Positive psychology, founded by dr. Martin Seligman, is the scientific study of what makes people flourish - of the strengths and virtues that enable you to thrive. Positive Psychology urges you to focus on what is working, on what can be done or controlled, on what is here now, in short: on possibilities, opportunities and gratitude.

So be reassured, positive psychology is not an over-reliance or exaggeration of things towards the positive. Below you find 7 practices from positive psychology: choose, practice, and thrive!

1. Write a “self-compassion” letter, in which you treat yourself with compassion while confronting your mistakes and shortcomings. Refrain from harsh criticism, judgments, and condemnations and write this letter as if it was from a supportive, candid friend.

2. List your five main strengths and answer the following questions:

- How much do I use this strength?

- Is it wise to use it more, since a strength under-used is one gone to waste?

- Could my use of this strength be an example of “Too much of a good thing turns into a bad thing.” e.g. decisiveness can become pushiness if you over-do it.

3. Adjust the narrative that you hold about a challenging situation that involves other people and ask yourself:

1.    What am I exaggerating?

2.    What may I be over-personalizing?

3.    Am I checking my 'facts' and stress-testing my assumptions?

4.    What other explanation or narrative could be true, even if just partially?

5.    Do I have enough data to freak out and will freaking out help me? (Brené Brown)

6.    How can I focus more on what is working, what can be changed, what is possible?

4. Emotions and mindsets are contagious, so be mindful who you surround yourself with: can-do, caring, interested people who can add new perspectives and who are candid with you are good people to be around.

5. Strengthen resilience and decrease stress by writing in a daily gratitude journal: Every evening you write down 3 specific things you are grateful for that day. Do not repeat examples the next day. You want to train your mind to hunt for the good, not to get in a ‘lazy’ repetition mode.

6. Seek approval only from people who really matter and when it really matters. People-pleasing drains your energy, hampers candor, and: it's impossible to please everyone.

7. Increase your awareness and mindfulness by focusing on being in the moment, here and now, whether you are in a meeting, in your car, walking with a coworker to the parking lot or any other situation. Gently push distracting thoughts aside and re-focus on the present people, words, and actions.

How to argue effectively

Sure, numerous conversations and meetings benefit from subtlety and agreement. Yet at least as many conversations and meetings require all involved to be able to argue effectively, to candidly speak out, to respectfully tell it as they see it, to challenge conventional wisdom without sugar-coating, and to openly call out mishaps, cowardice, ego-trouble, misguided intentions, or simply an opposing view or unlikely perspective.

So how do you do this thing called ‘arguing effectively’?

1.    Objectives must be shared, explained, and understood.

2.    Intentions must be constructive and trusted.

3.    Substantive debate must be everyone’s priority.

4.    Empathy and curiosity must accompany candor and persuasion.

5.    Participants must be willing to assume the other person’s position.

6.    Participants must distinguish between the person and their opinion.

7.    Participants must be capable and willing to give/receive respectful, candid feedback 

8.    You want a no-tolerance approach to dominating, condemning, remaining locked in the past, and attacking someone’s character.  

It is impossible and, more importantly, highly undesirable to eliminate all arguments from conversations and meetings. It is possible to argue respectfully and constructively so you can dive deeper into important topics, allow otherwise suppressed opinions, and clear the air of possibly toxic thoughts and emotions. 

All involved need to realize that a lack of agreement does not have to equal conflict, and that deeper connections, smarter solutions, and stronger commitments result from expressing, respecting, and seriously considering a contrarian’s point of view.