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Regardless of your industry, company, position, and present level of success, I’m sure there are problems on your plate for which coaching would be beneficial. The value of coaching is for a great deal in the interaction. For interaction with a skilled, astute coach creates deeper levels of awareness, stronger critical thinking skills, strengthened resilience, and improved accountability. This post is far from interactive, however, the following 21 questions can get you started when dealing with people, project, or other challenges. Answer them all, candidly and on paper, then revisit the questions and your responses in a few hours or, if it can wait a little longer, the next day:

1. Why is the problem a problem for everyone involved?

2. Which are your assumptions about the problem?

3. Which are your assumptions about every individual involved?

4. Do you recognize any untested and biased assumptions on your end?

5. What is the influence of power dynamics between you and others involved?

6. What are you trying to accomplish and whereto – for what bigger reason?

7. What’s important about that to you and others aware of this?

8. How are your sensitivities and ‘interpersonal allergies’ at play here?

9. What might someone who knows you well observe in this situation?

10. How candid have you been with yourself and with others?

11. How may stakeholders think totally different from you and why?

12. What specifically is it that the involved people are working to accomplish?

13. What have you tried so far and with what results?

14. What’s got you stuck, do you see connections with previous situations?

15. What is it that you may be fearing? And others?

16. What else would you do if you didn’t feel restricted by anything/anyone?

17. What would you need and from whom to actually do that?

18. How can you significantly change the conversation with those involved?

19. What are the next specific steps you will take to move things forward?

20. How will you know that you are progressing toward your goal?

21. How will you hold yourself accountable for progress and results?

Seriously answering every single question on paper, rather than zooming through them with an “I’ve gone through this before” or “I already know the answer to this question” – attitude, will help you think, choose, and accomplish differently.

Seven Questions to Improve Your Professional Effectiveness

It' not so much the answers that matter, although they provide valuable insights. It's the thought processes that these questions elicit and the increased awareness you will experience that will strengthen your professional effectiveness. Here are seven questions from different fields: 

From the Tao Te Ching: 
What can I really learn from those who criticize me and point out my faults? 

From Gestalt Psychology: 
What am I working hard to avoid right now?  

From Cognitive Psychology: 
Which are my thoughts and my thinking distortions that are holding me back right now? 

From Mindfulness Training: 
What am I really paying full attention to, if anything?

From Attribution Theory: 
What am I attributing my success and my failure to and how can I hold myself more accountable?

From System Theory:
How does how I show up and communicate, influence how others show up and communicate? 

From Buddhism: 
What is the result of my mourning for the past and my worrying about the future, compared to truly living in the present moment? 

We are the only animals on this planet with the capability to extensively and intelligently think about our thinking. I write ‘capability’ because I regularly wonder: Do we do it enough? Do we do it in a wise and successful manner? That is questionable. As Socrates once said: “I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.” I urge you to learn to think differently from how you thought before. You can start with asking yourself different questions, better questions. 

Thinking Bold, Acting Bold, Being Bold

Being bold = being honest with yourself and with others.

Being bold = mustering the strength to appear vulnerable.

Being bold = facing your fears and imperfections.

Being bold = acknowledging how you deceive yourself.

Being bold = questioning your assumptions and behaviors.

Being bold = asking tough questions without sugar-coating.

Being bold = resisting the risk-avoidant behavior of over-thinking.

Being bold = being willing to say ‘no’ and disappoint.

Being bold = being willing to say ‘I disagree’, regardless the hierarchy.

Being bold = knowing you don’t need to be liked by everyone all the time.

Being bold = speaking out and going beyond accepted norms.

Being bold = the first and last step in creating any kind of change.

What is being bold to you? 

How bold did you act today? 

A leader who empowers and inspires …

… is a leader

who shows up, speaks up, and steps up.

who asks “How can I help you be more successful?”

who models vulnerability, humility, and courage.

who wants to know what she might be missing.

who knows when he has to withdraw and let go.

who demonstrates the value of both work and play.

who focuses on what her people are doing that’s working.

who says it as it is and who wants to hear it as it is.

who finishes with: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

We are all lousy listeners …

… even though we know that

Listening builds trust
Listening adds perspective

Listening expands your mind

Listening is a show of respect

Listening breaks down resistance

Listening creates buy-in and support
Listening provides you with feedback

Listening conveys that you are interested

Listening turns you into a well-informed person

Listening helps you understand, remember, interpret and evaluate

Listening expresses that you care about others’ opinions and concerns

But only when it’s real listening, to what is being said and to what is being left unsaid – only then. But only when it’s active listening, with the right kind of questions – only then.

My advise to you and myself: Listen, with your heart and head, while being fully aware and present, in the here and now - It's a hard and important thing to do.