Peer-to-peer accountability - How to Conduct an Accountability Conversation

Peer-to-peer accountability is a challenging task. You may work in a cross-functional team, a virtual team, a matrix situation, or in a more traditional, stable team setting. In each of these situations, holding each other accountable to team goals and commitments is challenging, especially since you are not the person’s boss. Even though these conversations may are difficult, below suggestions address how to conduct an accountability conversation with a team member in a structured, respectful, transparent and problem-solving manner.

Preparation for an accountability conversation – 5 tips

1.    Assess the level of safety for this conversation, defined as: Do we both perceive the relationship as respectful? Can we speak our minds freely without concern about damaging the relationship or other possible negative consequences? If not, you have trust building work to do.

2.    Assure that the timing of the conversation fits you both. Overly strong emotions and feeling time-pressured will most likely negatively impact the interaction. Be present there and then and be ready for anything, expected or not, that may come your way.

3.    Keep an open mind. First about how the conversation may develop and what the emotional intensity might be. Regardless of your preparation, positive intent, and approach, you never know nor control what’s going on at the other end of the table. Second, be open to the idea that you could be wrong. Ask yourself: What may I be missing or misinterpreting?

4.    Know your internal chatter. Ask: What story am I telling myself about this person, their intentions, and the circumstances? Is it a victim story, a villain story, a helplessness story etc. Where’s the proof? How do I know? Could I be totally wrong? Will this story help or hurt the conversation?

5.    Reflect on your own possible role in the present situation: What may I be not willing to address myself? How may I be contributing to the performance / delivery gap?

Execution of the accountability conversation – 5 tips

6.    Describe the situation: ‘What happened as I see it.’ Focus on the gap between expectation and reality as you see it. In this stage separate ‘What happened’ from ‘Why’ it happened. Refrain from speculation and judgment. Move away from blame and focus on understanding and analysis.

7.    Ask for the person’s response, for their version of what happened. Remain focused even if you are confronted with an emotional response. Respond empathetically yet keep focused on the facts. Be ready to listen intently and ask questions to clarify. Refrain from jumping to conclusions and from judgment – for many the hardest thing to do. Work towards agreement on where the stories align and where they do not.

8.    Identify impacts - Explain what you see as the consequences of not meeting expectations. What are the results of what happened or didn't happen and of what was not accomplished? Ask/address: What’s the impact? Ask/address: Why does this matter? Ask/address: What are some potential implications? Also consider which of these consequences may the person care about most?

9.    Explore the barriers – What is getting in the way of this person delivering and performing up to expectations?

a.    Content – Knowledge – Information

b.    Ability – Skills – Coaching

c.     Motivation – Drive – Values

d.    Relationships – Influence – Style

e.    Processes – Procedures – Resources – Tools

10.Collaboratively explore possible remedies and move to action:

a.    How can barriers be removed?

b.    What does the person need to improve?

c.     Who can help, support?

d.    Is the person truly committed to the changes?

e.    What is the time frame?

f.     How will you both know there’s improvement – success?

g.    How will you follow up? When?

Lastly, but actually firstly, a safe and transparent climate where fact finding outweighs fault finding, where learning from mistakes prevails covering up mistakes, is the only way for people to openly admit to and share near misses, small mistakes, and big failures.

This will be the topic of one of the upcoming blog posts.

Answer 8 questions before accepting a (new) leadership position

In "The Art of War for Women - Sun Tzu's ultimate guide to winning without confrontation" by Chin-Ning Chu, a case is made for the importance of mental strength. As I assume we can all agree, mental strength is vital to your success at any level in any industry and in any culture. "If you cannot handle the pain of setbacks, don't take on a leadership role in the battlefield of either business or life." is one of the numerous thought provokers from this book.

On page 147 and 148, Chin-Ning Chu presents 8 questions that should be answered affirmatively before accepting a (new) leadership position: 

1. Do I posses the ability to be decisive?

2. Do I have the guts to complete the necessary tasks?

3. Am I willing to take calculated risks?

4. Do I have the stomach to handle the unpredictable setbacks?

5. Do I possess an uncrushable strength?

6. If my plan fails, am I resilient enough to bounce back?

7. Do I have the ability to bear humiliation? 

8. Can I endure trying times?

Wishing you candid self-reflection!

The Courage to Doubt

If you could take a ‘Courage and Doubt Test’ just like you can take an intelligent test like the WISC-IV or a personality test like the Myers Briggs, how would you score on this Courage and Doubt test? How would you score on items such as:

The courage to take risks and possibly make mistakes

The courage to choose and not choose something else

The courage to let go of total control

The courage to truly delegate

The courage to be vulnerable

The courage to doubt yourself and show it

Lets zoom in on the latter: your ability (and willingness!) to doubt yourself. What is your outlook on doubt? Is it a sign of weakness, a sign of strength, both, neither? Does it depend on your position with the company, on the setting that you’re operating in, or does it depend on whether you’re meeting with your own team or with the organization’s top management?

If you believe that doubt undermines your authority and influence, you probably go to great length to eliminate or suppress doubt. This can lead to dogmatism and intolerance towards people who raise concerns, towards team members voicing uncomfortable questions, and towards people who simply have a different perspective from yours.

What is your outlook on doubt? Maybe you believe that doubt is a useful third eye. Maybe you realize that doubt puts a brake on overreliance on set ways of thinking, deciding, and doing. If this is you, you will likely embrace doubting thoughts because you realize doubt helps you take a step back, it helps you look at a situation from a different perspective, and it makes you wonder what the devil’s advocate has to say. Doubting your assumptions and thinking patterns helps you reduce self-deception, cognitive bias, and fossilization of your thinking.

No, you do not want to be paralyzed by excessive and insistent doubt, yet giving doubt a voice keeps you open-minded, fresh, less judgmental, and flexible.

Who doesn’t …

Who doesn’t … want to be successful?

Who doesn’t … want others to act accountable?

Who doesn’t … want their team to function as a true team?

I like to share some nuggets from the workshop Holding Others Accountable that I attended, with all credits, of course, to the Accountability Training & Culture Change Company Partners in Leadership:

à Experiences create beliefs, beliefs influence actions, and actions produce results. Two good questions to ask in this context are:

1.    What experiences am I creating with my leadership?

2.    How often do I intervene at the crucial level of beliefs?

à If you want to succeed in holding others accountable, you need clear and agreed upon expectations and a continuous process to check in on the progress as opposed to a one-time check when the deadline has arrived.

à Holding others accountable starts with identifying a key expectation for each person. A key expectation is an expectation where you have decided that NOT delivering is NOT an option. Every key expectation, whether for yourself or others, needs to be framable, obtainable, repeatable, and measurable (similar to the SMART-approach to goals).

à Whatever it is you expect of someone, make sure to have a Why-What-When meeting, with a word of warning not to skip the WHY (see also Simon Sinek’s TED talk on the importance of the ‘why’: http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en)

à Don’t just ask for buy-in from people. Let them rate on a scale from 1 to 10 how aligned they are with whatever key expectation you set. This way you allow for a more nuanced answer than just yes or no and you make it easier to voice concerns, since ‘7’ can be considered a reasonable score while it opens up the conversation about how to improve: “What would it take for you to move from a 7 to a 10?”

à If someone is NOT making the progress you expect and need them to make, have a LIFT Conversation:

Listen for obstacles

Identify obstacles the person can influence

Facilitate the Solve It Question

Test for movement towards the expectation

There was so much more to this workshop, and there is so much more to accountability. Another great resource on the topic is the book Question Behind the Question by John G. Miller.

I ask you again, Who Doesn’t …? Let me ask you another question: What is keeping you from holding yourself and from holding others accountable?

Wanna get it right? #Leadership

There are many things that strong leaders believe, think and do. Below you find some that I found to be true in my 28 year consulting, coaching, and workshop practice in Europe and the U.S. With gratitude for the many hundreds of clients who taught me what strong leadership looks like.

1. Strong leaders don’t feel the need to have all the answers, to know it all, to be the smartest in the room. They do not feel the need to be the super hero. They DO collect the smartest people for their teams, they DO ask all the right (and often less obvious) questions and they DO honor people who are smart and choose smart, and they are great at connecting dots where others can not. Strong leaders know they can’t do it alone.

2. Strong leaders are excellent active listeners, focusing in the here-and-now on what is being said and what is being communicated in other ways than with words. And if they DO talk, they are brief, clear, consistent, truthful. If they DO talk they make abundant use of stories to share their vision and experiences and to engage their people and connect with their hearts.

3. Strong leaders act with integrity and demonstrate that it is safe to share not just success stories but also misjudgments, failure, and doubts. They keep important conversations in the room. Because they can be trusted and are perceived to be honest and fair, they make water cooler conversations redundant.

4. Strong leaders welcome dissidents, devils advocates, “against the grain” thinkers, and people who challenge them otherwise, because they know they need this kind of thinking and these types of conversations to prevent self-deception, confirmation bias, tunnel vision, and all that other horrible stuff that prevents new ideas, unusual solutions, and fresh perspectives to emerge. They know they/their ideas don’t need to be liked all the time as long as they're respected and seen as acting with integrity.

5. Strong leaders know how to combine confidence and presence with humility and gratitude, which for many is a difficult balancing act. The Harvard Business Review Daily Stat on March 6, 2015 reported the following: “Highly regarded CEOs are nearly 6 times more likely than less highly regarded chief executives to be described as “humble” (34% versus 6%), according to a survey of more than 1,750 executives in 19 markets worldwide. Yet only about a quarter of the survey’s respondents say the description fits their own CEOs. The research, sponsored by public relations firm Weber Shandwick, also shows that nearly half of a company’s corporate reputation and market value is attributable to its CEO’s reputation.” Leslie Gaines-Ross writes on HBR.org

In what areas can you strengthen your leadership?

A leader who empowers and inspires …

… is a leader

who shows up, speaks up, and steps up.

who asks “How can I help you be more successful?”

who models vulnerability, humility, and courage.

who wants to know what she might be missing.

who knows when he has to withdraw and let go.

who demonstrates the value of both work and play.

who focuses on what her people are doing that’s working.

who says it as it is and who wants to hear it as it is.

who finishes with: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”