Nothing to lose

Ever feeling busy? Tired? Unfocused? If not, please contact me so I can listen to you, mine your wisdom, and share it with family, friends, and clients.

If your answer is ‘yes’, try the following four easy practices for 7 days straight and see what it does for you. They each take 30 seconds or less:

1. Every time you realize you’re frowning, switch to a smile and hold it for at least 30 seconds.

2. Every time you feel rushed, pause for 15 seconds and either close your eyes or look at something pleasant.

3. Every time you detect a negative thought, switch to a credible constructive thought and repeat the thought silently 4 times.

4. Every time you feel upset with someone, before you address the person, send her or him a silent, not spoken, ‘I wish you [name] well’ message (with credit to Mayo Clinic’s dr. Amid Soot.)

These practices are examples of what I call ‘taking out the head trash’ and of relaxing just a little more.

Do it, experience it – that much you owe yourself. And you have to admit, it’s impossible not to have a couple of 30 seconds in your day to spend on something healthy. Lets just agree: You have nothing to lose.

Positive Psychology Practices

Positive psychology, founded by dr. Martin Seligman, is the scientific study of what makes people flourish - of the strengths and virtues that enable you to thrive. Positive Psychology urges you to focus on what is working, on what can be done or controlled, on what is here now, in short: on possibilities, opportunities and gratitude.

So be reassured, positive psychology is not an over-reliance or exaggeration of things towards the positive. Below you find 7 practices from positive psychology: choose, practice, and thrive!

1. Write a “self-compassion” letter, in which you treat yourself with compassion while confronting your mistakes and shortcomings. Refrain from harsh criticism, judgments, and condemnations and write this letter as if it was from a supportive, candid friend.

2. List your five main strengths and answer the following questions:

- How much do I use this strength?

- Is it wise to use it more, since a strength under-used is one gone to waste?

- Could my use of this strength be an example of “Too much of a good thing turns into a bad thing.” e.g. decisiveness can become pushiness if you over-do it.

3. Adjust the narrative that you hold about a challenging situation that involves other people and ask yourself:

1.    What am I exaggerating?

2.    What may I be over-personalizing?

3.    Am I checking my 'facts' and stress-testing my assumptions?

4.    What other explanation or narrative could be true, even if just partially?

5.    Do I have enough data to freak out and will freaking out help me? (Brené Brown)

6.    How can I focus more on what is working, what can be changed, what is possible?

4. Emotions and mindsets are contagious, so be mindful who you surround yourself with: can-do, caring, interested people who can add new perspectives and who are candid with you are good people to be around.

5. Strengthen resilience and decrease stress by writing in a daily gratitude journal: Every evening you write down 3 specific things you are grateful for that day. Do not repeat examples the next day. You want to train your mind to hunt for the good, not to get in a ‘lazy’ repetition mode.

6. Seek approval only from people who really matter and when it really matters. People-pleasing drains your energy, hampers candor, and: it's impossible to please everyone.

7. Increase your awareness and mindfulness by focusing on being in the moment, here and now, whether you are in a meeting, in your car, walking with a coworker to the parking lot or any other situation. Gently push distracting thoughts aside and re-focus on the present people, words, and actions.