Lao Tzu’s Take On Accountability

A great nation is like a great man

When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.

Having realized it, he admits it.

Having admitted it, he corrects it.

He considers those who point out his faults

As his most benevolent teachers.

He thinks of his enemy

As the shadow that he himself casts.

This is Lao Tzu's take on accountability. What's yours?

Every excuse we ever make, makes perfect sense to us, right? And if it doesn’t, we create a theory that we fit (or force) into our logic, and preferably the logic of others.

Call it self-deception, call it cowardice, call it a lack of accountability – it doesn’t’ really matter all that much what you call it. It is a sad situation how much we are trained, from a very early age, to find the perfect answer to the question, to find that one solution to the problem, to strive for perfection. We seem conditioned to avoid mistakes and ownership.

But without ownership, there is little growth, little trust, little collaboration, little progress, and usually poor business results. Without the self-confidence, humility, and guts to take some chances and own up to mistakes there will be little trust, little accountability, little progress and even little pizazz. 

How can you move from your comfort zone to your courage zone?

I do not mind to be the one to bring it up

The most destructive conversations in the workplace are the ones left unsaid. 

Most people instinctively avoid conflict even though good disagreement is central to progress.

  

Conflict avoidance and selective blindness lead managers, employees, and organizations astray.

Self-deception is inherent in the psychology of human beings. Self-deluded people believe that intention automatically translates into behavior.

The best partners aren’t echo-chambers and yes-men. The best teams allow people to deeply disagree.

One of the saddest phrases in the workplace: No one ever told me. 

When you avoid negative feedback and conflict, you lack accountability and you do a disservice to all involved. You waste everyone’s time.

There are many situations in the workplace where conversations benefit from subtlety and nuance. There are at least as many that need plain directness and courageous candor.

I choose my top two and went to work. 

Which one needs your attention most? Choose and get going. Now. 

Now isn't just the best time, but really the only time to start growing and improving. 

Tough conversations

As leadership expert Geoff Aigner found in his own research, the biggest road block managers and leaders (but anyone alive, really) must overcome is their reluctance to engage in tough conversations, usually for fear of being unkind. There is a common mistake at work here: confusing compassion with kindness. Leaders who truly care about the development and growth of their employees are able to push through the awkwardness, and tell it straight. Just like parents who really care about their children, adult children who care about their aging parents, friends who care about their friends… the list goes on, beyond the workplace.

Tough conversations can be and usually are the most valuable conversations we have. If you throw caring, courage, and candor in the mix, you will be able to provide people with information and perspectives that others might have too, but are unwilling to share. Tough conversations help us decrease our blind spots. Tough conversations force us to move away from self-distortion and ego-saving defense mechanisms. Tough conversations, if held well, decrease the need for cover-up practices. Tough conversations are tough in the here-and-now and become some of the strongest bonds between people.

What are you afraid of? What is holding you back? What skills do you need to strengthen in order to start tough conversations? Why not start now? Mistakes are okay. These types of mistakes aren’t fatal, you know.