Listening ‘poem’

Fair or not, I blame my aging brain and my very busy life for not knowing where I first laid eyes on this 'Listening Poem' as I call it. I wished I could do honor to the author, so tell me if you know the origin. 

I have written about listening before - about the power of real listening and about the under-estimation and the difficulty of listening. Of real listening. Which is distinctly different from being quiet, as we all know. But lets be honest, knowing and doing are often two very different things. 

Most of us, myself included, are poor listeners, most of the time. To complicate the matter, there are different purposes and thus different kinds of listening. Just to name two: if you wish to understand, you listen with your questions, and if you wish to demonstrate your listening, you let your actions show it. How much and how well do you listen and do you distinguish between the different forms of listening? 

Below poem takes home the point so clearly, I'll let it speak for itself.  

When I ask you to listen to me

And you start giving me advice

You did not do what I asked you to do.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you start explaining

Why I feel the way that I do

You did not do what I asked you to do.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you tell me why I am wrong

You, again, did not do what I asked you to do.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you respond with your own experience

Then you’re preoccupied with yourself, and not with me

When I ask you to listen to me

And you feel obliged to do something to solve my problem

Then you don’t give me what I asked for and what I need.

How strange it may seem

But when you simply accept that I feel what I feel

That I ask time and attention for my story

No matter my feelings and the story

And apart from what you could say about this story and my feelings

Then I can quit trying to persuade you

                                                 And simply tell my story.